It’s just a chasing after the wind.

I can’t believe I got saved today, 3 years ago… it seems like it was just a year ago. God has done so much in the last year. Words can’t even explain how grateful and blessed. God has healed me, delivered me from not only from going to hell where we all belong but He has saved me and has delivered me from fear and rejection and anxiety. I never thought my life would be like this. Thinking back all the years where I could have just ruined my life with brokeness but instead God found me, took me in and Jesus paid the price for me on that cross and rose again and saved me.

Its not natural, its super natural.

Hate when you flirt with my friend, right next to me… And when she flirts back.

Shoot me in the head.

when my pastor talks about fathers in his sermons and how he’ll use himself for an example. Like on Wednesday, he said when he would get home and open the door, his baby girl will be screaming “Daddy! Daddy!” and for a split second… My eyes start to water and I almost want to cry right then and there because just for once, for once in my life I would like to know how it feels like to come home and see your dad sitting at the table drinking his coffee and will talk to you about how your day was. I’ve always wanted to come home and feel safe in my daddy’s arms and know that nothing will ever hurt me.

Even though I have my spiritual father that will never leave me or forsake me… I still long for that physical father. I just have to tell myself that God is the father to the fatherless and He is there to make me feel safe and to comfort me and sit and talk with me when I am having a bad day or when I get hurt, He will be there to heal the wounds and to fix my heart. Even now. Right now, when I need him the most. He is there.

There is nothing going on at church tomorrow night… Well… My Friday night is gonna suck.

I have no life.

and I’m desperate for a good conversation.

Funny how promises mean everything but when they are broken, sorry means nothing at all.